Friday night

We went to see The Flying Dutchman at the Atlanta Opera on Friday night. Y'all the Dutchman is so emo, but at least he has a reason to be, since he is doomed to sail the seas with a bunch of dead sailors unless he can find a woman willing to pledge her love to him. What a life! Luckily he finds a girl who is totally into brooding, depressed emo guys, so he is set. But then there is some drama, and I won't spoil the ending for you.

But what I really want to say is this: When BT and I walked in, we were handed regular programs like everyone else, but then we were also handed "special" programs for "Young Professionals." Fair enough. BUT, when I started reading the Special Program for Young Professionals, I realized that it is actually written for small children, because it says things like, "Please turn off your cell phones during the show, because your opera aficionado neighbors don't want to hear your Who Let the Dogs Out ringtone!" (I just want to make sure you know that Who Let the Dogs Out is indeed NOT my ring tone.) And ALSO, it gave a totally dumbed-down synopsis of the opera, which was not necessary b/c there is already a dumbed-down synopsis in the Regular People Program. The synopsis was all, "Think Pirates of the Caribbean, but without Johnny Depp and Keira Knightly!" Seriously? Additionally, the program felt the need to reassure us, "Relax! It's just the opera!" I guess BT and I look like a couple of chuckleheads who need to be told how to behave at the opera. They might as well have just given us a coloring book and told us to sit in the lobby. Come to think of it, a Flying Dutchman coloring book would be kind of fly.

I would also like to point out that if you are at a show or movie and you need to unwrap a cough drop or some candy, just do it quickly. No need to prolong the crackling! It doesn't make it any quieter! Also, if you need to unzip your purse, just unzip it. No need to unzip it carefully, tooth by tooth! The woman behind me did a lot of this, and I know she was trying to be careful and polite but seriously. She took about 5 full minutes to unzip her purse (tooth by tooth) and then it sounded like she was wrestling with a giant map for the rest of the Act. It sounded like she was unfolding a map and then re-folding it and then unzipping her purse and then rezipping her purse and then unzipping it again and then taking out the giant map again and unfolding it and then refolding it, etc. It was such a production, it almost trumped The Flying Dutchman.